#no show will ever quite be like Riverdale ever again and no show will ever reach the heights it did.

[james-stark-the-writer]

feel like pure shit, just want her back

[nataliescatorccio]

there will never be another riverdale. it's the end of an era for twenty episode long seasons of crazy teen drama. never again will a show push the boundaries like this one, from murder mysteries to organ harvesting cults to d&d gargoyle kings to serial killer genes to discovering secret superpowers to stopping a comet from destroying your hometown to polyamory in the 50s. riverdale had it all. it was the height of camp, it was the plotlines no one could ever quite believe, it was the best of tv. rest easy, my queen, you have left a mark on pop culture forever.

[darcyolsson]

s7 of riverdale being set in high school is just soooo quintessentially riverdaleian like yes theres the obvious callback to the original comics + it's a full circle moment for the show to go back to riverdale high school but i remember when riverdale first came out there was quite a lot of critique ab them casting actors who were "far too old" to play high schoolers so in my humble opinion taking those same actors 6 full years of aging later and making them play high schoolers AGAIN is just so beautifully camp. never will there ever be a show like this ever again

[bensonstablers]

I was tagged by @sothischickshe (thank you!!! 🥰) to answer 20 questions for writers:

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

205.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

609,094

3. What fandoms do you write for?

fandoms i've written for include:

Law & Order: SVU / L&O: Organized Crime

Good Girls

Gotham

Buffy the Vampire Slayer / Angel

Criminal Minds

Graceland

Stranger Things

The Walking Dead

Riverdale

Castlevania

Preacher

Four Brothers

Outer Banks

Gilmore Girls

while no longer available, in the past i've also written for:

Fast and Furious franchise

MCU / Marvel

Boondock Saints

Hocus Pocus

From Dusk Till Dawn: The Series

DC

(plus more i'm probably forgetting about)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Shared History (Good Girls/Brio)

Degree of Separation (Good Girls/Brio)

Milkshakes (Good Girls/Brio)

Deep Sense of Belonging (Good Girls/Brio)

Sacred Art of Kissing (Good Girls/Brio)

5. Do you respond to comments?

i read all of them for sure but i'm terrible sometimes at responding although i do try my best

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

ooft, okay. there's probably more than this but the following have major character death warnings that could very well be classed as angsty lmao:

i wrote this little ficlet: Gone (SVU, bensler/EO) in which a raid goes wrong and it's just pain from start to finish and then there's Until Long After She Takes Her Final Breath which is a Good Girls/brio fic in which their reunion at the beginning of season 3 goes very differently.

Why don't we go to Venus? is another Good Girls/brio fic in which the summary is: Rio killed her and that was supposed to be the end of it but Beth doesn’t seem to be done with him quite yet.

that one is probably my angstiest overall but the ending is probably the least angsty bit about it??? haha

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

honestly? i have no idea and i have no clue how to check 😭😂

8. Do you get hate on fics?

there was someone going around the SVU/OC fandom leaving weird hate comments on people's stuff (anonymously) and i got one but while it felt rude, it didn't feel like hate, but also it felt like it was supposed to be hateful, y'know? pretty sure i just deleted it though (i for sure ignored it) 😂

but generally, no. i'm lucky to say that i tend to avoid hate on social media and that includes fanfiction.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

i have done and the variety isn't huge but it's there? i guess?

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

i have done! beyond the obvious (where shows, etc share worlds), i did a boondock saints/the walking dead one (which was also co-written) because norman reedus stars in both 😂

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i'm aware of?

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

again, not that i'm aware of

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

yes! the aforemention boondock saints/the walking dead fic was co-written on ff.net and i co-wrote (with the same person), a fast and furious fic.

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

i lost myself a ton in writing olivia/elliot from svu/organized crime as well as beth/rio from good girls so they'd probably battle it out for top spot.

BUT

if i'm being brutally honest, my all time favourite ever to write were fast and furious ships 😂 especially the OGs (specifically vince and leon) with my OCs (although there were canon ships i loved to write too!). it was just so fun and freeing and i constantly think about it.

(i also loved when i wrote random marvel/mcu pairings, winterwitch was probably my number one for them and again, i think about it a lot)

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

i think it's unlikely i'll finish a lot but especially a degree of separation. i kind of hate it, i'm so sorry 😭😭😭

16. What are your writing strengths?

the thought of analysing my own writing right now sounds painful but two of the most common nice things people tell me is that: 1) they like how i write dialogue and 2) they like my writing style in general

(but of which i highly appreciate!)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

i don't do it enough?

nah. true but seriously, there's a ton, however, i do tend to waffle on and write something in several sentences that could have been just one 😭

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I don't think i've ever done it? if i have it'll be dialogue or whatever that's already in the show/move/etc

19. First fandom you wrote for?

The Fast and the Furious 🥰

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

still on ao3: it has to be Why don't we go to Venus? but also Knock First which is a Beth/Rio/Original Male Character threesome fic that was SO MUCH fun

no longer posted: a fic for The Fast and the Furious. it was a Vince/OC story. it was so much fun to write and it was one of my most popular back when i was posting on ff.net and i miss this story all the time (even though it's probably awful 😂) and always think about re-writing and posting it again on ao3

Tagging: @conscience-killer @constant-sinner @astarkey @xstrawmari @blainesebastian if ya like! (sorry if you've been tagged before!)

[laylakeating]

CREATIONS FROM EVERY MONTH OF 2023! (except october but we're not going to talk abt that !!)

Post your favourite and most popular post from each month this year (it’s okay to skip months).

i was tagged by two of the Most talented girlies in the world !! @saw-x and @taiturner ILYYYYY ty for sharing what your brilliant minds came up with this year !!!

JANUARY

MOST POPULAR: britt + karma !! i had so much fun with this set and it was honestly such a good way to start off the year !! FAVOURITE: probably that same set !! also the glee icons pack i made :D

FEBRUARY

MOST POPULAR: from my blog, britt + mike in 207 shsjhs. from teen dramas, brooke in 207 (one of my fave looks of hers) (this was clearly a month for the seventh episodes in second seasons ??) FAVOURITE: barchie + high infidelity for barchiesource !! something a bit different for me creatively but ugh i love it. also glee 514 for gleesource !! again something a lil different !!

MARCH

MOST POPULAR: riverdale returning to television and proving it takes the cake as the funniest show in the world (another rvd is iconic and beyond reproach set for 701) FAVOURITE: a banger month for creative sets !! basically everything i made for barchie week, this unholy trinity MASTERPIECE i made for gleesource, and this djats set + destiny, choice, chance

APRIL

MOST POPULAR: my favourite scene from djats for djats week in green bc apparently i like to make things hard for myself ?? who knew FAVOURITE: again. SO MANY. another month another appreciation week shsjhs. anyway all the sets i made for djats week, more sets for gleesource including santana + valerie and mercedes and santana + river deep mountain high, my santana lesbian visibility set, hsmtmts + tarot cards which took me wayyyy too long to finish, rvd ladies + barbie posters (50s edition), and barchie in 701 for barchiesource in RED (very proud of how it turned out considering i hate giffing in red)

MAY

MOST POPULAR: quinn + tropes for glee appreciation week !! FAVOURITE: everything i made for glee week (there were quite a few bangers), my 2 9-1-1 sets shjshsj - maddie + you first (a banger) and madney + paper rings (another banger), also the first (and only rip) set in my layla episodes series (layla + 101), and this jordayla + proposal foreshadowing i did over on jordayla gifs !!

JUNE

MOST POPULAR: this halle bailey set <33 FAVOURITE: once again. everything i made for all american appreciation week !!! special shout outs to layla + the eras tour and the layla set i made for day 1 !!

JULY

MOST POPULAR: nancy + the wizard of oz horror (that makes sense i swear) FAVOURITE: the aforementioned nancy set, also stancy + persuasion, the little mermaid live action and the quote that made me insane for a few weeks, layla + the lip pout she does (she's adorable), AND last but certainly not least, this pride and prejudice edit which was just nothing like i have ever done before that i LOVEDDDD

AUGUST

MOST POPULAR: ashlyn + giving maddox mouth to mouth (her delivery of AS A FRIEND still sends me into orbit) FAVOURITE: HSMTMTS MONTH BABEYYYYY !! fave sets include (but are not limited to there are too many) gina for hsmtmts week, fave songs (also for hsmtmts week), rina + maybe this time + motion blur (THIS TOOK ME WAY TOO LONG BTW), this antoine set bc he is an icon, madlyn + daylight (still a serve), rina + invisible string (to this day the most insane thing i have ever made), hsmtmts + a meme summary (just your regularly unhinged content honestly), and this jet/maddox set <33

SEPTEMBER

MOST POPULAR: this cinderella 1950 set in pink/blue <3 FAVOURITE: okay so we have ej playing cupid/being a love prophet HSJHSJ, TWO icon packs, one for olivia rodrigo and one for lexie grey, and also the britt + her love for my headband set bc it was the only other thing i made in september and i was worried it'd get lonely

OCTOBER

MOST POPULAR: apparently you have to post something for it to be popular FAVOURITE: i made many sets in my mind dw

NOVEMBER

MOST POPULAR: blair looking excellent (as always) for teendramas !! FAVOURITE: finn + bigger than the whole sky (part of my glee midnights series) (a true labour of love) (still obsessed with it btw)

DECEMBER

MOST POPULAR: percy !!!! for pjosource FAVOURITE: everything i made for 12 days of rina (there are only 5 days rip), and OF COURSE, to round the year off with a bang, the extraordinarily belated 2k celebration set for justine, AKA dair + midnights !!!!!!!!!

tagging some beloveds <3 @alinaastarkov, @jordanlayla, @katherines, @kayascodelorio, @perccyjackson, @yenvengerberg !!

[imreallyloveleee]

2023 fic review

thank you for tagging me @onlyalittlebookworm! <3 <3 <3

What is your ao3 account?

loveleee

2. How many words did you write total in 2023?

32,717

3. How many fics did you publish in 2023? How many multichapters vs. oneshots?

3 oneshots, 1 new WIP, and updated 1 WIP. this was definitely one of my least "productive" years for fic-writing in quite a while (although i don't think i published much in 2022 either, looking back). for obvious reasons: i was traveling for more than half the year; and also Riverdale canon was so fucking awful to our ship specifically that i think it just killed off everyone's desire to read and write about them. thanks RAS! <3

4. What was your longest fic? Your shortest fic?

longest: i feel like i win when i lose, my bughead four weddings & a funeral-inspired fic. 16,379 words (and i need to finish the last chapter ahhhhhhhhhhhhh)

shortest: honeymoon phase, my (very first!!) jimmy/kim fic. 1,927 words.

5. What was your most popular fic? Your least popular?

even though it kind of feels like cheating, head underwater was most popular, because even though i started it years ago, i updated it in 2023!

for least popular, if we're going by kudos, it was three conversations about one thing, which was my desperate attempt to make some sense out of the penultimate episode of riverdale s7 lol

6. What fic didn't perform as well as you thought it would?

honestly, i try to keep my expectations low for everything i publish, to avoid disappointment. i guess the answer would be that last one, "three conversations." but like, the show's ending sucked? i'm not surprised people were not dying to run out and read fic about it 😂

7. What fic performed way better than you thought it would?

i really did not know what to expect from posting a Better Call Saul fic. the show ended over a year ago, and i don't really have much of a sense of how big/active the fandom around it is, or was at its peak. that said, i was EXTREMELY happy to discover that there are way more fics for Jimmy/Kim than there were for the last "prestige"-y show ship i wrote for (Peggy/Stan on Mad Men).

so, all that to say, i was really pleasantly surprised to get as much engagement as i did with that little story! and i'm working on another one now and really enjoying writing it. :)

8. What was your favourite fic you wrote in 2023?

i feel like i win when i lose!!!!!!! the first four chapters of that story just FLOWED out of me like they already existed. it was so much fun to write and i think it's a super fun story in general. i reeeeeeally want to finish it.

9. What was your favourite fic someone else wrote in 2023?

Beautiful Broken Things by teaandpinkfrosting: a well-written, well-plotted, sweet, emotional, in-character season 1 Bughead fic in the year of our lord 2023? WHAT DID WE DO TO DESERVE THIS?

Eighty-Six Years by jimmymcgools: a grounded, believable, heartwrenching, yet ultimately hopeful continuation of the most devastating finale i've ever watched in my life? again, WHAT DID WE DO TO DESERVE THIS? [ETA to be extra clear that the finale i'm referencing here is bcs NOT rvd lol]

10. Tag your friends to do this year end fic review as well!

@absnow @burberrycanary @andsmile if you're into it! <3

[riverdale-retread]

Riverdale S7 E 17 (Chapter 134) A Different Kind of Cat

Betty is in her room, angrily typing about how she “can’t hold back any longer,” telling her newsletter readers that she’s been reading their outpourings. She lists the sins that have been committed against her - made to be a cheerleader, put into therapy, had her diaries read, rejected by her mother, and of course, she was also slapped. As vengeance she’s going to release a book, ‘The Collected and Expanded Teenage Mystique.” She’s going to only put out the uncensored truth about being a teenager. She wants to burn the small minded town to the ground.

Alice is a most inconsistent jail keeper by the way because Betty is typing really loudly with her door wide open, and there are a pile of letters from girls on her desk, but Alice isn’t aware of any of THIS going on.

Speaking of goings on - Jeronica are about to make their school debut! They have not figured out how to do a couples look yet - Veronica is wearing a shoulderless cleavage baring ballgown type thing in purple, and Jughead is wearing an orange zigzag sweater. Jughead wants to take it easy on the rest of the Riverdale population - he’s willing to just follow in Veronica’s wake. I love this about him, immediately, because this seems like the correct attitude for a boyfriend of Veronica Lodge’s to have. Veronica will not stand for it. She takes his hand, and they step into the school together. Jughead looks more than a little worried.

The first person they see is Julian, who sees them hold hands and looks peeved. Then Cheryl and Toni pass. Toni is merely interested, but Cheryl is full of contempt. I keep forgetting that Cheryl actively dislikes Veronica in this universe for stealing her rich beautiful girl thunder because they were lowkey in need and in love with each other for so much of Seasons 1-6. The next person to clock them is Betty, who looks like it gives her indigestion. Which is no surprise because Veronica? Veronica! What was all that cosmic kissing talk from the past couple episodes? Betty comes by her discomfort very honestly here. More and more students notice the handholding.

Jughead is happy that the gauntlet is over. He says he’s not used to being stared at by so many people. That can’t possibly be true. You go to school wearing a felt crown. You burst in on the student lounge and yelled at people about milk. You just didn’t INTEND to get stared at until today. Veronica tells him that even she hadn’t ever garnered quite this much attention, not since she wore her “sexy witch costume” to school for Halloween by mistake. Jughead has no idea what she’s talking about, but he is turned on so hard so fast, that she has to ask him directly if he “has a thing for sexy teen witches.”

Jughead is so cute. He looks like he doesn’t know if he should run away to jack off or hurl from nervousness: “Well, yes! Yes I do!” But then he always covers all his reactions to things with a sort of This is About My Art kind of gloss, so he immediately segues into: “I know a boss idea when I hear one.” Veronica will have none of it.

Using her most kittenish voice, she says, “I’m glad to have inspired …[looks directly at his crotch, pauses, then looks back up to his face] .. *something.*” They share a very chaste kiss in the hallway farewell.

Archie is showing his poem to Miss Grundy. Miss Grundy says the poem demonstrates that he “grew up overnight.” She wants to know what happened. He prostituted a woman is what happened. We cut to -WHY? WHY DO WE CUT TO THIS? WE GET IT! STOP SHOWING ME THIS! - Reggie and Archie inside Twyla’s red-lit depressing prostitution room as she closes the door. Archie omits that part and tells his teacher only about the sunrise he watched with Reggie when he was somehow much more fucked out than Reggie.

I hate Archie all over again. I hope Twyla never caught an STD but with fervor I pray that she gave one to Reggie and Archie like the Virgin getting impregnated by the Word.

Grundy, who has no clue, tells him to “keep doing” whatever it is he’s doing.

Archie tells the nastiest sex pun of all time, purely for his own benefit. Can I say again? I hate Archie. They ruined sweet, earnest, stupid S7 Archie for me wholesale by doing this. He says, “I’m definitely going back.” He’s so SLEAZY.

In the other storyline that I hate that I guess they’re keeping, Cheryl and Toni are using school resources to develop raunchy photos of themselves. Fail Lesbians. Terrific.

In a class that Grundy is about to teach about the Enlightenment Period, Jughead, seated immediately behind Cheryl, is drawing a very sexy teen witch that looks just like Veronica Lodge on a broomstick. He’s actually a very competent artist.

In the student lounge, Reggie has told Julian about his recent experience as a man who prostitutes women. Julian refuses to whisper about any of it. “YOU AND ANDREWS?’ he basically hollers, as Reggie cringes. Oh Julian. I was rooting for you, because you can sing and you look cute as the ur-Archie. You ruined this. “You and Reg took a ride on the town bicycle, Twyla Twyst?” Julian basically SHOUTS this at Archie.

Reggie looks very uncomfortable in the background, taking a very large gulp of coke. Dude, why did you feel the need to share any of this with Julian, of all people? “AND YOU’RE GOING BACK FOR SECONDS?”

The first person that Archie, looking like a sleazy deer in headlights that I would gladly run over with my car, makes eye contact with is Betty Cooper, sitting on the couch. She looks more and more like Alice Cooper by the second, wearing her pink and brown check pattern dress like armor.

The things that Betty says though show her in know better light than anybody else. She is no Betty Friedan, regardless of whether she used the word “mystique” for a good book title before her or not. She is peeved that boys get celebrated “for their sexual conquests” and girls get punished for “wanting the same” but this is all manner of fucked up. Prostituting a woman doesn’t mean the same thing as getting a girl to like you enough to want to have sex with you, being a super obvious point that doesn’t need to be said, but I’m going to say it because this is my blog. She’s so disgusted by Julian slow clapping that she packs up all her stuff to exit the lounge. For some reason, she’s the only girl who can hear any of this conversation - the other students in there are entirely deaf to Julian’s shouting.

As she angrily stomps out of the lounge, Betty runs smack into Cheryl, who drops all her photos. In the ensuing scramble, Betty sees one of them. It intrigues her so much she pursues the fleeing Cheryl all the way outside, to the bench, and clearly forces her to talk about the photos. Cheryl is too tired of life to put up much of a fight: “I am going steady with Toni Topaz.” Betty’s reaction - “Oh!” followed by a frown, blinking, followed by a stuttered “Well, that…m.-makes sense…” is further support for my central thesis that Betty Cooper is very, very stupid in S7. Evelyn ALREADY OUTED Cheryl and Toni to Betty in particular in that conversation they were all having about Fangs impregnating Midge. Further, I can tell that Betty doesn’t understand at all how two girls can go together - she’s being very Queen Victoria over here, she doesn’t see how that would work, which is why she says “That makese sense” because it doesn’t make any sense to her whatsoever. She’s so incorrigibly stupid, and on top of being really, really dumb, she’s also really, really vain, because she thinks she can write a book.

Cheryl has never directly come out to anyone before, so she is very worried. For Cheryl Blossom, in every universe, a good defense is the only reliable method of existence, so she double dog dares Betty to try to use it against her.

I don’t think you need to worry, Cheryl. Betty doesn’t actually understand what you’re saying.

Betty does glom on to the fact that Cheryl and Toni being together in some incomprehensible way is a secret, so she comes out with a secret of her own. She is The Girl Next Door, the writer of The Teenage Mystique.

Cheryl makes me lose all hope in life, because she not only says that she loves The Teenage Mystique but also that the Girl Next Door’s “advice is tops.” But Betty is so, so dumb Cheryl. How can she possibly be “tops” as an advisor.

They shake hands, because Cheryl finds it an honor to know The Girl Next Door.

Now they can talk business. Betty wants to know what Cheryl was going to do with the “amazing pictures.” Cheryl was going to come out “in the most unabashed way” by publishing the photos in Femme and In magazine. Um. More like, get whoever was publishing that magazine arrested by Vice for publishing indecent material featuring children, but sure, be reckless, Cheryl.

Plus, I think it’s so cowardly for Cheryl to ‘come out’ by publishing male-gaze appeasing lingerie photos of herself as a minor rather than just tell her parents and go to the crazy girl prison like all the other wayward girls do. This is not empowerment, at all. How famous is Femme and In magazine anyway? How would this even be known in the Blossom household or the circles they run in such that it would have this “blow the lid off their world” impact?

Oh no. Oh. Oh no. Betty has infected Cheryl with the stupid.

Betty immediately sees an opportunity for herself in this desperate act of Cheryl’s. She wants to include Cheryl and Toni’s story - complete with the racy photos - in her upcoming ‘book.’ Cheryl decides immediately that this would somehow be “the perfect forum for” coming out. Okay. Sure.

Betty also wants to have lingerie photos taken of herself. Cheryl is all about this, and she’s gonna get something out of it too - she gets to make another oil painting that all these people are too foolish to commission outright.

That night, someone drives up in a very swanky car, complete with a grey haired white driver, to the Babylonium, which is showing “A Star Is Born.” A sleek someone in very high heels walks into the theater.

Upstairs, Veronica is canoodling with Jughead, who has shown her his sexy teen witch art. She loves it - “this is the bee’s knees!” Jughead has simply named this character Veronica the Teenage Witch. He says that Pep Comics is in desperate need for a new character to improve readership and to get past the new censorship rules. He’s so pleased with himself, his work, and with his new girlfriend.

An extremely elated Clay comes bursting in because someone very important and unbelievable is here.

It’s Josie McCoy!

Josie’s presence is so powerful it turns Veronica right back into the drag queen she sometimes inhabits. She starts to recite Josie’s in-universe resume at her. She’s a famous chanteuse, she founded some important sounding theater company, she’s won a Tony!

Josie McCoy is Eartha Kitt. This actress is doing an AMAZING job. She channels just enough of Kitt’s interesting vocal mannerisms and accent to be a tribute without shading over into being embarrassing or camp. She says that she’s heard good things (a person who “shakes things up”) about Veronica. She’s here because she has a secret (“hush hush”) movie project. She urges Veronica to dismiss her underlings. Veronica has no qualms treating her high school friends as servants - she shoos them away. Clay scampers away with zero dignity whatsoever, but Kevin (Kevin? but yes, Kevin does this one thing correctly) looks both annoyed at this treatment (rightfully) and appears to have things he wants to say to Josie McCoy too.

Turns out this movie that Josie made was a sort of Barbra Streisand making Yentl type thing - she wrote, directed, produced and starred in it. She wants to do a test screening at the Babylonium if it turns out to be “up to her standards.” She needs to do this in Riverdale because it’s Siberia as far as the California movie industry is concerned (Veronica is so starstruck that she doesnt even seem to register this cruel blow) so that there will no risk of some studio executives “second guessing” all the creative choices.

We cut to the screening. Clay in the projection booth is verklempt. Veronica is hypnotized. Kevin has ditched his boyfriend to do all the work in the back room while he creepily has stayed in the theater itself (Hi Hateful Kev, there you are!) to inch closer to Josie. He’s up and giving a standing over before the movie is even over, looking shiftily over at the back of Josie’s head in case she notices him. Veronica however is genuinely moved. She looks like she might cry as she stands to give her own ovation.

When it’s just the two of them in Veronica’s executive suite, Veronica (the teenage witch, natch) offers the grown adult Broadway star alcohol, who accepts it without comment. Veronica of course always manages to think of making things bigger and better. Having seen the film, she now wants to upgrade from a test screening to a full blown red carpet movie premier. (Oh! Or she didn’t not notice the blow about how Riverdale is irrelevant Siberia as far as the movie industry goes from before - she just smelled a business opportunity brewing and held her tongue.)

Josie is very gracious in her refusal of this initial suggestion (“I’m still tinkering.”) Veronica doubles down, calling the movie Perfection. Josie doesn’t disagree but then says that studio executives are skittish creatures. Veronica agrees. “They are fear driven creatures.”

Well, not if the insane stuff that’s allowed to happen on the show Riverdale is any indication but maybe this is supposed to be a wink and a nod about two things - the upcoming Hollywood writers’ strike, and maybe a not so subtle attempt at trying to pacify the Riverdale fandom that surely wasn’t expecting that we would get zero true closure on any of the things that have ever happened before on the six previous seasons, nevermind continuity. (Like, randomly, for example - Reggie and Josie are both entirely new people with old faces and names.)

Josie is being a fear driven creature herself though. After negging Veronica about the town and her theater, she now negs her about Riverdale’s citizenry. Josie, you’re the one who came HERE. Nobody asked you. So why go on about whether the people in this town are ‘hep’ or needing a lay of the land?

Veronica truly loves movies though. She thinks this one is great, so she’s willing to be accommodating to the last. She offers herself and the two minion gays to be tour guides for Josie, starting bright and early at 8 a.m. Josie hoots with laughter (this laugh was fantastically done, pitch perfect, almost sung - bravo! performance is like 10000% brilliant on the alternate universe Eartha Kitt!). She snootily informs Veronica that she wakes up no earlier than 3 p.m.

Oh I wish I could live like that too!

Veronica would never have permitted such condescension from anyone we’ve seen her meet so far, but she will allow it for Josie. And because Veronica, despite having Jughead now, is still very, very lonely, she does what she always does when she has what she thinks might be a receptive person - she invites them to live with her in her big huge apartment.

I wonder also if this is meant to be a bypass of the race issue - would Josie have been able to check into just any hotel? Would she, a black woman traveling apparently alone (or with just a driver, who can hardly be expected to guard her with his life) be safe had she checked into even the most expensive hotel she’d be permitted to stay in?? What was Josie’s plan for accommodation here? Is this another test of Veronica Lodge’s acumen, to put an acceptable, dignified social gloss over uh, American apartheid?

“I like you Ms Lodge. I think we’re going to get on just fine,” Josie says, then puts her very dark sunglasses on at night indoors.

Meanwhile, SIGHHHH, Archie Andrews has brought a bouquet to the red light district (well, hallway) of Riverdale. He tries to loosen his hip flexors. When Twyla opens the door, he wants to says he was “hoping … we could see each other again.” Twyla reject him.

Did she not get paid last time? This question of HOW IS TWYLA GETTING PAID AND BY WHOM is a consistent issue that Riverdale keeps raising from her re-introduction as the prostitute. Was Archie a violent fuck? Did the boys insist on paying her a one person rate, forcing her to accept it?

WHY AM I BEING MADE TO THINK THOUGHTS LIKE THIS ABOUT ARCHIE AND REGGIE, RIVERDALE MAKERS?

I suppose it’s clear enough that Archie wants a freebie (or a series of freebies) from Twyla, which is why she cuts him off at the pass, but that still doesn’t answer the question of why she doesn’t simply ask him for money.

They keep making this direct equivalence between the porny photos the SupreFemme Dykes take and Archie attempting to be a frequent fucker of prostitutes, but I don’t understand why. I also don’t care to be informed.

Cheryl and Toni are shown going into the Cooper house with absolute suitcases full of equipment. Wearing Veronica’s lingerie and her own glasses, Betty poses for photos in her own bedroom. This is not a good way to be a camgirl, to use your actual room you use for sleep but ok. Betty does look exceptionally pretty.

The next day at school, Veronica is minding her own business, reading her book in the student lounge (Behind her are two boys in letter jackets talking to two cheerleaders), when Toni, dragging Fangs behind her like a soggy puppy, marches in (she really marches, arms swinging) to demand her attention. They’ve heard (I assume from Kevin or Clay or both, because of that special lavender double cross relationship they have with Cheryl and Toni) that Josie McCoy is in town. The only place to take her is the Dark Room (because it’s the only place that could ever be described as “hep.” Fangs will be performing, because Toni is still in the business of pretending to give a shit about Midge, the baby on the way, or Fangs’s relationship with Midge. She wants Josie to be entreated to give Fangs a boost in his pathetic attempts at a career. Veronica is willing to accommodate.

Miss Grundy has really pretty clothes this season, by the way. I especially like her embroidered cardigans. Because Twyla told him that MiLFs in town would probably like to take a bite out of a “red delicious” like himself, the poet wannabe who doesn’t know what metaphors are brings an actual red delicious apple to his teacher.

What in the actual fuck is going on with the stuff on this board:

DIVINE COMEDY?

Anti FEMINISM???

ChivalrYYYYYYYYY?

She unfortunately says that Red Delicious apples are her favorite, which, again, wouldn’t be a problem necessarily except Archie is a poet wannabe who doesn’t know what metaphors are and is allergic to subtlety. He invites Mrs Grundy to the Dark Room, to listen to him perform a poem. This is extremely bold, almost egotistical, but Grundy is indulgent. She calls Archie her favorite student, promising him that of course she will attend. He gives her the sleaziest, smuggest, “I’m going to Fuck this lady for free later” smirk before heading out. The apple he leaves glows supernaturally in between them.

As Grundy returns to work, we hear Jughead start to say “She’s bewitching, she casts spells” while we’re still looking at Mrs. Grundy’s face.

We’re in the very overstuffed rooms of Pep Comics. Jughead is trying to explain the concept of Veronica the Teen Witch to his editor. His concept is that Veronica the Teen Witch is an actual witch but “nothing harmful” and anyway she spends her time being a high school student, which to Jughead means “class, homework, romantic trouble.” He wants the whole thing to be “vampy, campy fun.”

You know, like that show Riverdale, before they had Archie Andrews prostitute a woman at half price to lose his virginity!

Jughead is dressed much snazzier than he was when Jeronica was making their debut at the steps of the high school. He’s wearing a navy striped button down shirt, open in a boy cleavage which reveals a dark t shirt underneath and he’s wearing his suspenders. Jughead’s suspenders are basically his push up bra, so we know he’s feeling himself here as he makes this presentation of “boss idea.” I bet you these were clothes Veronica put together for him.

Sadly, his editor, once burned is now twice shy. He feels that even this very wholesome sounding concept is going to have to be watered down, starting with Veronica the Teen Witch losing her cleavage, and her dark hair, and half her witchdom, and her name Veronica! The editor says that the name Veronica to him means Veronica Lake - “too sexy, too dangerous, too curvy.” Except Veronica Lake was blonde, so go figure. He orders something “sweeter and magical.”

We cut to Betty in the photo development room (these are called Dark Rooms, right?) which is in very red lightning (fuckin’ a) with Cheryl. Sweeter and magical being ordered to jump cut to Betty the blonde looking sexy in photos? Very subtle.

Betty looks gorgeous in all the photos, but she’s glum about it. She tells Cheryl that she feels a fraud because she writes about sex without experiencing “anything remotely sexually satisfying myself.”

“What do you mean?” Cheryl asks.

This - THIS IS THE PRIME opportunity, Betty, to talk about how traumatized you are from the sexual abuse (I’m just going to call it how I feel it is now, politically correct lingo be damned) you endured at Kevin’s hands (LITERALLY) for two years that your highly suspect shrink would for sure call FORMATIVE. Heal from it! Talk to another girl about it! Talk to the girl who actually tried her best to put out to her unwitting straight beard for the sake of ethics about what you endured!

But no.

Betty Cooper in S7 is too stupid.

She says only, that she is “the only teenager in the world who can’t seem to find someone to go there with me.”

You’ve tried with exactly two boys, no? One was your gay sexual abuser, and the other one is a prostituter.

Cheryl does often have a very pragmatic streak. She can’t - and doesn’t want to get involved in - finding Betty someone to ‘go there’ so instead she teaches her about masturbation. Betty says she’s heard of the concept of “self pleasure” from that Kinglsey book that she didn’t read very well (she failed to learn about human reproduction from that book) but it didn’t have enough details. Cheryl gives her the manual, which she had just handy, in the form of an article in Femme-and-In magazine. (Which indicates to me this is a zine being put together by like minded dykes, which is why sending teen nudie photos to them is going to get them sent to prison and is therefore a bad idea.)

Femme and In, October 1955 issue has the headline “The only person you need to know how to please is yourself.” Cheryl, because she knows from the How Are Babies Made talk that Betty is very dumb, keeps looking meaningfully at Betty’s crotch as she gives her the precis - get in the bath, in the bathroom, lock the door, and USE YOUR OWN HANDS. Except Cheryl’s hands are tipped with extremely long terrifying talons, so I hope Betty doesn’t think the nail art is a necessity. That should only be reserved for advanced players.

Jughead is with Veronica at her apartment (Is Josie McCoy sleeping in there right now??), and he’s told her that the Veronica Teen Witch idea got axed for being too sexy. She takes it as her due. She very much likes being compared to Veronica Lake. Jughead is worried about what new name would work, so she suggests Sabrina. Jughead really likes it.

Oh.

ohhhhh

[Depressed voice]: Hi RAS

We then cut to the Dark Room, the Whyte Wyrm perversion, where Archie is reciting a poem. I’m so sorry friends but I could not bear to listen to this poem. I tried. Three times. Possibly four. And I could not get past the words “a simple apple.” I just could not. So I fast forwarded. I could see from doing the FFW that it was not well received -not by Grundy, not by any of the other patrons. Grundy just left. Veronica is furious, and Josie is so humiliated at having to be in the same room as this idiot that you can see her soul has left her body altogether. Toni is fully nasty to Archie, shoving him off the stage as she rubs his failure in his face.

Archie deserves it but also Toni has no right to be like this.

Josie says that “if that’s what passes for art in Riverdale,” she can’t besmirch her movie with association with this blighted place. Toni is fully throwing Archie (who also ate an actual apple in his Adam and Eve allegory or whatever that was) under the bus in service of trying to put Fangs in the best light.

I tried to skip this too, but I couldn’t because I think the editors knew I would want to skip this terrible karaoke performance so they interspliced it with Betty’s First Masturbation Session. I foiled them however, and turned the volume all the way down. While Betty jacks off for the first time, Cheryl is painting her, with the aid of a very dark room (??) and dozens of distant candles. I don’t paint, but I thought painters needed to see well when they were working with colors? Oh, and Betty has also lit a lot of candles for her masturbation session as well. Everyone in the Dark Room gives Fangs a standing ovation except Josie, who just sort of smirks at him while she golf claps. We’re made to know Betty has also achieved satisfaction. Okay, so that, I am willing to applaud.

Afterwards, her confidence somewhat restored, Veronica tries to get Josie to agree that Riverdale is “hep.” Josie hated it - Fangs’ music is not her genre, she says, but then she says that Fangs has “star quality.” Veronica fully understood that Josie thinks Fangs’ music (voice, presentation, performance ) are all sub, but tries to perk up at the assessment of his telegenic appeal. Then Josie says something odd: “How is he on the bongos, do you know?”

They’re talking about sex, right? Bongo player is like, ass beater?

But then no, it turns out they literally mean bongos. Fangs is playing bongos in the background as Josie writhes around performing a very Eartha Kitt number about women being kittens or something. God I miss this actress and her wonderful musical numbers. She’s the one professional performer the Dark Room has ever seen, both in universe and on this show. She’s really too good for Riverdale (in every sense).

Veronica asks if Riverdale is good enough for “Going Uptown.” She gets a yes!

Then Toni and Clay invite Josie to a Black Athena meeting. They get a yes too!

Archie is stalking his teacher now, waiting for her in the classroom. Because he’s a creep on top of being a prostituter. He was told by a prostitute a professional sounding opinion on how best to obtain free sex, which unfortunately for Grundy describes her to a T in Archie’s book (like, who the hell else is he gonna go for in this universe? Alice Cooper is a nonstarter, and we lack a Gladys Jones here, Mayor McCoy, like - where have all the MILFs gone?!?). He wants to know why his seduction technique of reciting a terrible poem awkwardly before chomping on an apple didn’t make her stay to talk (and fuck) with him afterwards. Grundy knows now exactly what he’s saying, so she reminds him that she has a husband. Who is an actual poet.

“We need to switch gears,” she says to Archie. Behind her on the blackboard is written: “Figurative Language - metaphor, idiom, symbolism, hyperbole, personification, simile. You know, just in case you don’t get it. She means she’s never going to fuck Archie Andrews. Thank god for that. And THIS figurative language, Archie does understands. He looks upset at his poetry teacher tells him to stop writing love poems at her. She wants him to write about pain. Any sort of pain. “What is my most painful experience?” and write about that. And definitely not the pain of being horny or crushing out on your teacher. She’s brought a lovely gray cardigan with jet black beads embroidered on it.

In the art room, Cheryl is unveiling her oil painting of Betty. Betty loves it. She says it’s beautiful. Cheryl is for the first time I think we’ve seen this entire season, at physical ease with a girl that isn’t her girlfriend (with whom honestly she’s not that at ease either, sadly, unless they’re having sex). She tucks her chin adorably into Betty’s shoulder to say that the painting is beautiful because Betty is. And this is actually my favorite painting ever done by Cheryl.

Love the pink and black color scheme, love the confidence in Betty’s face. I love this warm lovely moment between them. It’s such a sigh of relief.

Meanwhile, Jughead has finally achieved success with Sabrina the Teenage Witch concept art! It’s gonna be sent off for review stat! “Congratulations, kid!” Jughead is wearing a blue S shirt with a red collar and his push up bra suspenders over it. I love the color scheme of this outfit too. This has to be Veronica dressing him. Sabrina the Teen Witch is gonna save Pep Comics from the dustbins of obscurity!!

We’re now at at Very Special Session of the Black Athena club. Josie seems to wear nothing but animal prints. The population of black students at Riverdale has either exploded overnight or all these black students thought this club was dumb OR they really disliked Toni and Clay and their obsession with the white cop’s son and the white rich people’s daughter and avoided their ventures. I dunno. It’s full of black students we’ve not seen before, is my point.

Josie is very gracious, loving and warm to the students. Which is pretty adorable, but also makes me feel so worried about her. Is she ok? Oh, and of course, of COURSE, Clay interrupts Josie in the middle of her talk by making a joke, about himself. I hate Clay.

When asked how it is the Black Athena came to be, Toni gives me more reason to hate her from the way she tells the story. That black students needs their own space in 1955 (or really, now) seems indisputable. But she’s leaving out the part where Cheryl funded it, at some risk to herself, because she wanted to do the right thing. Her girlfriend funded it, wanted to sit in once, then graciously, sensibly saw herself out. But Toni doesn’t indicate ANY of those things. It also says something nasty about Toni, again, from the show - Tabitha of 1955 is on a crusade tour to the rest of apartheid america at great risk to herself, but Toni is only going to talk about her race in her white-funded space when it’s absolutely perfectly safe.

Show? Show! Get it together, omg.

In any case, Josie’s attendance of Black Athean inures to Veronica’s benefit, because now Josie wants a full on glam-fest type of movie PREMIERe and not a mere test screening. Josie also tells the story of how she got this movie made. She put every penny of her personal assets into financing it. If the movie doesn’t become a hit, she’ll be ruined for good. She did this because she made the play a hit on Broadway, won a Tony, but then the movie version was going have her written out and replaced by Lana Turner. She started this project out of spite. I think I have to assume this will work out gangbusters then, because spite fueled projects often have a lot of momentum and energy.

Veronica reacts with empathy, and not annoyance, as I would have. Which is why she’s a good businesswoman. Josie didn’t actually mind that both Archie and Fangs sucked ass at the talent night - she needed the test screening to be “in the sticks” in a racially mixed town (which Riverdale supposedly is) so that she could reassure the “fear driven” movie executives the film deserved a profit earning wide distribution. She aggressively put Veronica through the ringer in order to make sure Riverdale was low-brow Middle America enough to be a valid testing ground for this film.

This movie is going to have to “explode like an atomic bomb” because Josie McCoy knows she’s a movie star, she’s made a great movie, and she deserves a fair shake.

This is barely 10 years after Nagasaki and Hiroshim and as a Korean person I admire the discipline of the Japanese for doing business with people like this who nuked them (and only them and because they weren’t white) and then freaked themselves out and introduced phrases like this making light of the entire thing into their own language.

Again, the performance of this monologue is FANTASTIC. This actress is top notch. Where is the Josie tv show, RAS? Can we get Sweet Pea back, RAS? And Valery? Hey? RAS?!

Veronica says that she will throw such an awesome premiere that there will be a bidding war.

Fangs is telling the now visibly pregnant Midge that he’s met the great Josie McCoy who is going to get him hooked up. Midge looks desperate, smiling through misery, and I hate everything about this. I hope she miscarries, was my original evil thought, but she’s too pregnant now and there’s no way these satanic nuns would save her if they thought the baby was gonna die.

Sadly for Jughead, the censorship panel rejected Sabrina. His push up bra suspenders should’ve been in the room to make a case for her. His editor is sadly slumped about it. “You came up with something fun and whimsical and all they saw was witches, Satanism, hocus pocus and human sacrifices.”

I assume this is RAS talking about some portion of the critical and/or hostile reaction to his Sabrina the Teen Witch show. I didn’t watch it and I will not, so I don’t know, but despite a seasoned actor delivering it well, the clunky winky-wink of this line landed like a frozen turd. Jughead is very very crushed. He runs directly to Veronica at her apartment. She offers him an alcoholic drink, which he immediately declines (!!!!). She’s wearing a dress that looks like it’s made of black plastic bags. He’s so sad about what’s going to happen to Pep Comics. He thinks it’s going to sink.

Veronica very kindly lets him off the hook for the premiere. He doesn’t have to come socialize if he’s not in the mood. “Are you kidding? This is probably the only chance I’ll ever be invited to a Hollywood premiere.” They had Cole Sprouse say this on the Riverdale show.

Anyway, Jughead says he definitely wants to go, but he’s worried he doesn’t have the right clothes. My theory that Veronica has been picking out his outfits for him I think gets boosted by her revealing that she had a tuxedo customized to his measurements (When did she have time to measure him without his knowing? Has Veronica lost her virginity to Jughead Jones while we were being tortured with Archie Fucks a Prostitute side plot??). “Nothing but the best for my flutter bum,” she says. He is so grateful, and she gives him a little cheek pinch. I love this dynamic. Why am I getting it only in the last four episodes of the show.

Archie sits down with a photo of his dad to write about his pain. I wish I cared but I don’t.

Josie is laying her hands in cement for the premiere. There’s lots of press and people there. Jughead as the date of the theater owner gets to hang out, leaning while looking snazzy in his custom black suit, while all the other boys (the prostituters Archie and Reggie, and the egomonster gays Clay and Kevin) have to be ushers. Jughead is completely unstarstruck by Josie, whatsoever. He only looks at and listens to Veronica. He’s really there for the movie. There’s a very important movie critic in the house too.

The movie starts.

And then the projection fails as the film melts on screen to a halt.

If they hadn’t bothered showing me that in fact Clay and Kevin did manage to thread the projector and make it work properly for Veronica’s private viewing of the movie I would’ve had something different to say, but this just seems like an accident.

Clay and Kevin are trying to fix it. Veronica freaks out. “You two are the worst projectionists in the world! You’re fired, WE’RE NO LONGER FRIENDS, and -and from now on you’ll be paying full price for movie tickets!”

This is the first time I think I’ve ever seen Veronica act like an actual 17 year old in the past seven years of this show. This is extremely funny. The ‘Oh good god, I forgot you were 17!’ look that Josie gives Veronica about this ‘firing the projectionists in the middle of a premier’ is even funnier. Josie takes control. People start to leave, as Clay tells her that it will take about five minutes. Josie decides to put on a show to save the er, show.

We get another fabulous Eartha Kitt (I assume this is Eartha, but also she’s the only one I know) song performance. Even Jughead looks transported. “I invented myself!” This is quite the lyric. Everything about this is so upscale. Beautifully done. (And in retrospect, what a tawdry sad little show Polly Amorous is putting on nightly. Sad.).

After everyone has gone home, Veronica reports back to Josie about what the Wall St. Journal is going to say about Josie’s very important movie. “An atomic bomb exploded in Riverdale!” is one of the sentences. They keep saying this - radioactive, atomic bomb - in this episode. Please no. Please please please no no no - don’t go there, don’t do this (But I’ve seen the gifsets from American fandom, I know they go there and do that.). The review is such a rave that Josie starts crying.

“I’m not dreaming?” she asks Veronica.

Veronica is so generous and kind. She says it’s already happened, because Josie was always a star. Her bet for her own business also worked out really well. And alpha recognizes alpha because Josie asks if Veronica isn’t just treading water in Riverdale, managing a theater, when what she should be doing (as a 17 year old high school student) is making movies. Veronica’s eyes light up, which Josie sees, and comments on. She wants to work together with Veronica again.

Archie comes home from his exciting night at the movie theater to find that Uncle Frank is reading the poem he was working on about his pain about his father. The poster on Archie’s wall says, “Fly Home Today.” Yeah, seriously, Uncle Frank, fuck off. All that Archie’s poem says is that his dad is dead. For some reason, Frank freaks the fuck out. He rips up the poem after screaming. He forbids Archie from writing about Fred being dead “like that again.” Is this a genetic problem that both Andrews guys have, this inability to comprehend?

[warriorprincesstramp]

2, 4-6, 20 :D

hiii 🖤🖤🖤

2 - album of the year

emails I can't send fwd SORRY!!!! that album legitimately got me through this year it turns out what you listen to in the worst month of your life sticks with you... but the baby by samia and grace by jeff buckley and the rise and fall of a midwest princess are all runner ups...

4 - movie of the year

just did this and listed quite a few but tbh there are so many more... dick 1999 escape room 2019 slashorette party STUDENT BODIES. student bodies was so fucking good... and I did already say bottoms but FOR YOU i Will repeat bottoms was such a Moment 🫶 I had literally been waiting for it the entire year and my girlfriend havana rose liu was there and everyone was so sexy it was unreal...

5 - tv show of the year

faking it was one of the greatest parts of this year it was so fun and weird and 2014 and my best friend amy was there and the toxic homoerotic girl best friendship was insane HOWEVER. seinfeld was formative this year... truly by the end it was just like hanging out with friends everything I did I was like wow this is just like seinfeld it was so good to watch.during the especially as i.kept feeling more and more insane. Comfort television that's sort of meandering and emotionless and anti comedy <3

6 - episode of tv that defined the year for you

wow that's a deranged question ok. the first thing I can think of is yellowjackets 2.01 friends roman countrymen which was such a good brain altering episode and ofc at the time we didn't know season two was going to kind of flop so it was really exciting waiting for the next episode. but DEFINED the year. honestly maybe 7.01 of riverdale in the most bitter pessimistic way possible like it did Define The Year in that riverdale was supposed to Fix things (I know that's a stupid idea but whatever things were rough) and now only did it fail to do that it just left me confused and insulted and.more miserable than ever. yeah that's perfect actually. so much hope and optimism (february fortune cookie) Instantly dashed to create a.more depressive mood than ever. 🤸 but whatever season seven isn't real and it can't hurt me.

20 - what's something you learned this year

it's not going to get better. sorry that's horrible I'll think of something nicer to end on. I wasn't planning on this being a bummer I sort of forgot this year sucked. and I'm not saying that in an edgy way or to get attention it's purely just that sometimes things are the way they are and there's nothing you can do about it and I can't spend my whole life feeling bad about it. like my mum is so upset that cbt didn't magically cure me and it's like. this is just a thing I have to deal with forever! there's no cure! and if it ever gets better it'll be a pleasant surprise but why would I set myself up for devastation and disappointment again like I did at the beginning of this year. frankie community voice I never hope hope is pouting in advance.... anyway on a lighter note! talk to your seminar professors about your essays! it sucks but it does really make them so much better!! I got a first in a philosophy essay for the first time because of it 🫡🫡🫡 now I just have to remember to keep doing it even though it's extremely embarrassing asking your professor to do their job for some reason

[gauntlets-shot]

For muns with multiple muses, past and present, on any blog.

Rules: Fill out the form according to which muse suits each title best. (The same muse can have multiple titles.) Repost and tag. Feel free to add more!

Little mun note: Y'all ready for a crossover or two lmao. I'm gonna break the rules a little and just pick based on any of my rp blogs

Favorite Muse: Aw I can't pick between my babies...but I guess right now it's Vi lmao

Most Character Development: Hm ummmm I'd say Harley Quinn. Mostly because I partly followed the show's canon where *spoilers (even though the show's been out for a while now)* Harley turns semi good and joins the bat family

Trash Muse: Just like everybody else, I have no idea what this means buttttt I'm gonna pick Jughead Jones because I regret ever playing him lmfao (do not judge me, I played him like right after season 1 of Riverdale before the show turned to shit. And no, I don't watch it anymore)

The Meme-Lord: Peter fucking Parker (I played both Tom's and Andrew's). That kid is meme central, are you kidding?

Most Likely to Start a War: Harley Quinn. She would do it just for the hell of it.

Best Singer: Caitlyn but she doesn't know it. She used to belt in the shower but now she's got a fear of showers (definitely not because of Jinx lmfao)

Most Attractive Muse: ...this is really hard. As a masc lesbian, it's gonna be a heavy tie between Harley Quinn and Caitlyn

Biggest Heart: Ahhhh this one's pretty hard too. I think because I'm more in touch with Arcane right now, I'd pick Vi over Peter Parker. My version of Vi is very emotion based in terms of her knowing what is morally right but she doesn't exactly do what's right if it means hurting someone she loves

Falls in Love Quickest: I was originally gonna pick Harley for this but I'm gonna choose Caitlyn. If you so as much smile at her and are a girl, she will fall head over heels.

Most Likely to Drop Their Phone in the Toilet: Peter Parker. He's definitely on phone number four now.

Ice Ruler: A ruler is different than a leader but I haven't really played any muses that would rule so to speak so as a leader, I'd say Caitlyn

The Edgelord: Jughead Jones. No explanation needed.

Most Tragic Backstory: Definitely not Caitlyn. Harley's been through hella abuse but (in terms of the show) at least she ends up somewhere good. We all know Peter Parker's life story but I think Vi takes the cake on this one

Best Case of Puberty: Hmmm I was going to pick Peter but he doesn't really change through his teens years as Spider-Man. Vi changes much more drastically so Vi

Most Awkward: Caitlyn one hundred percent. As of right now in Arcane and in terms of my version, she is very awkward and I love her for it.

Busy Bee: Caitlyn again. Poor thing's rising up as sheriff to a shriveling country while also trying to unite Piltover and Zaun, as well as deal with her girlfriend's pyscho sister

Most Clueless: Vi? She's very street smart but she's not as smart as others because she never had any schooling

Most Likely to Forget Their Wallet at Home: Peter Parker. Then he ends up leaving his sandwich on the store counter to swing back home, web up his wallet and swing back to the store to pay for his food

Best Dressed: I'm picking this based on whose style I like the most so Peter Parker. Both in terms of Andrew's skater boy-esque version and the typical nerd-like sweaters of all other versions.

Biggest Flirt: Haha Harley Quinn. She does it on the daily as well as at the most inappropriate times

Most Dramatic: Harley again. She will threaten to throw herself off a building because she got a paper cut

Least Likely to Show Up Late: Caitlyn. She's very pointed when it comes to showing up on time.

One with Weirdest Habit: Harley Quinn. I can't quite pick what the habit would be but for sure it's her

Most Likely to Be Caught at the Gym: Vi. Gotta punch those demons away somewhere, right?

Tagged by : @independentzaun

Tagging: Ahhhh uhh you reading this

[thehealingheart95]

1955 Cheryl (Riverdale fanfic) by me (:

Cheryl was growing tired of pretending, the constant fight with her sexuality has been looming over her since she was a young girl; she’s just always known. The possibility of ever being able to be herself was beginning to fade with each passing day. She wasn’t certain but she could have sworn her mother was on the phone with The Sisterhood of Quiet Mercy last night complaining how she didn’t know what to do with her sexual deviant of a daughter. That she once again had caught Cheryl painting a naked woman in the art wing of Thornhill and she was reaching her last straw. Not to mention the fact her High School principal approached her at the sock hop making ambiguous comments on how the boys and girls were dancing, just as it should be so school had become a hell on earth just as her home was.

Cheryl longed to be understood and touched by a girl, not to be forced to fit in with society's standards. It was 1955 after all and who said that being gay was a sin, God? Cheryl was no stranger to spirituality, but organized religion gave her the Heebie-jeebies. The sole fact that love terrifies most people if it wasn’t between people of the same race and gender just didn’t make sense to her. Why did it have to be a big deal just because she happened to like women over men and why did she feel the dire need to shove down her feelings for a certain Greaser girl?

As Cheryl was getting ready for school that morning, she took extra care of her rose-matted lips and made sure to wear a bra that made her breasts present themselves. Maybe this would get Toni’s attention she thought to herself while looking very pleased with her reflection. Although she didn’t think she needed to, the Serpentina had been confident enough to walk right up to her and strike up a conversation, why shouldn’t she? The feeling of just having the greaser in her presence made her heart flutter and Cheryl was no stranger to this feeling of liking someone of the same sex, but this…this was far more intense a feeling than she’d ever imagined.

Chery was done letting her evil mother, principal, or anyone else for that matter tell her who to like or date. She pulled up front to the school in her cherry-red drop-top Thunderbird and made the sight of Toni talking with another female greaser. This immediately sent a ting of jealousy down Cheryl’s stomach, but she wouldn’t dare let that show. Toni, like all the others when Cheryl coasted in, turned her focus right onto the redheaded vixen and immediately dropped what she was doing to go say hi.

“Lookin’ good Blossom, I didn’t know you knew how to drive.”

���Oh, there’s a lot you don’t know about me, Antionette.”

This made Toni smirk, she knew this already, and that’s what made Cheryl so appealing. The way she looked didn’t hurt her cause, but Toni was more focused on why she was trying to pretend to be something she was not… and that’s straight. She watched her parade Archie Andrews around the halls for a good 3 weeks like he was a trophy, and she knew it was all a show then and it’s all a show now. Toni wanted Cheryl to open up and be her beautiful self, inside and out.

“Well, how about you tell me all the things I don’t know over some coffee? Some of my fellow Greasers and I are going there after school. We could talk and stop doing this dance we’ve been doin'. What do ya say?”

Cheryl’s body lit up; did she just get asked on a date? Right here?

“Uhh…”

“Come on red what is there to be afraid of?”

“I can think of a few things, but none overpowering enough to keep me from what I want.”

Their eyes met and time stood still, making them not realize the bell had rung. While everyone else was off to homeroom they were too busy staring into each other’s eyes. Toni crept closer, causing Cheryl's back to hit the outer wall of the school.

“And what exactly is it you want Red?”

Cheryl’s eyes nearly popped out of her head. Toni was taking advantage of the fact no one was around.  

“Uhm, I don-“

“Quit pulling my chain and just lay it on me, Cheryl. Tell me the truth.”

Toni was growing impatient with Cheryl for not coming to terms with how she felt. It had been weeks since they met and sparks flew by the mere sight of one another, what was the deal? Was it because she was more than just a girl? Was it because she was black? Or because she was a Greaser or was it all of the above? Either way, she was growing as tired of Cheryl’s pretending as Cheryl was.

“You, Toni. I want you.”

A wave of relief rushed over Toni for Cheryl finally said it; she finally admitted she wanted her just as Toni had been wanting Cheryl since the first moment, she laid eyes on the red-head beauty.   

“Finally… now, doesn’t that feel good to admit?” Toni asked while creeping even closer to the lead vixen. Cheryl was now completely pinned against the wall, there was nowhere for her to run to. She had to face the feeling of what Toni’s body being so close bestowed upon her. Toni was the one in control and Cheryl wasn’t used to that, but she liked it… a lot.

“Yes, it does.” Cheryl looked down, afraid to meet Toni’s gaze but Toni stopped her by placing her chin in her hand and lifting it back up, forcing Cheryl to really look at her.

“I’d like to show you something else that feels good if that’s okay?”

Cheryl knew exactly what Toni meant and she couldn’t appear more eager. The look on her face went from great embarrassment to extreme giddiness.

“M-more than okay.” Cheryl stuttered with bright eyes and a wide smile.

So, Toni leaned in, took Cheryl’s face in her hands, and planted the most perfect kiss you could possibly imagine on those beautiful, plump-red lips.

Cheryl was dressed in a cherry red preppy skirt with a transparent lace top with red roses embroidered all around. Her hair was in loose curls shaped perfectly around her face, and the lipstick, always with the lipstick that made those juicy puckers just POP. She strutted down the staircase into The Dark Room and found Toni awaiting her arrival at the bottom looking equally as pleasing in a tight violet pencil skirt and black leather jacket. Her hair was tied up in a matching bow and don’t even get me started on the cat eye makeup. Both girls looked divine; as though they didn’t belong in Riverdale, but in Hollywood.

“Well jazz my berries, Antionette you look wonderful.”

“Wow, Cheryl you truly are the cat's meow. Shall we? I took the liberty of ordering you a drink. I hope you don’t mind.”

“We shall.” Chery smiled not used to being in the company of such a powerful female; it made her nervous. If any of her Vixens had ordered her a drink without asking, she would have taken it personally, not with Toni though, she really enjoyed letting her take the lead.

“So, tell me about yourself, Cheryl. All I really know is that you’re beautiful with one hell of a work ethic. Student body VP and captain of The Vixens, however, do you manage?”

“Well, it’s better than being at home. My family is… well they’re the reason I feel the need to play this part.”

“And what part would that be?”

“The part where I pretend to be someone I’m not. Someone who likes boys.”

“Ah, I see. Well, none of that here, you can be yourself with me, Cheryl.”

Toni’s hand was on Cheryl’s thigh and without hesitation, Cheryl immediately grabbed it in her own and lifted it to her strawberry lips to plant a sweet peck on Toni’s palm. She then looked back to Toni who was staring straight into her Hazel eyes. The girls took a quick glance around and their lips collided once again, unable to fight the urge that burned deep within them both when around and even thinking of the other. Things were getting hot and heavy quickly, and Cheryl felt herself get wet, so she decided to pull away.

“Sorry, it’s just… kind of antsville in here don’t you think?”

“Yeah, I’ve got the zorros too. Wanna take a drive?”

“Sure, sounds like fun.”

And so, they did just that, coasting along Sweet Water River hand in hand while their hair blew in the wind. The true ride wouldn’t begin though until Cheryl and Toni made a stop at Lover’s Lane to play a little game of backseat bingo. Things were getting hot and heavy as the two girls made out. Toni pulled Cheryl to straddle her so that they could access each other with ease. The feeling of Toni so close sent butterflies throughout Cheryl’s entire body… especially between her legs.

Toni’s hands were exploring every reachable part of Cheryl’s while Cheryl’s were wrapped around Toni’s face. Toni slid her hands up Cheryl’s thighs and into her panties and when she did, she moaned because of how wet she was.

“Cheryl, you’re so wet.”

“Is that bad?”

Toni found Cheryl’s clit and began to rub it gently, making Cheryl even more wet. Cheryl’s eyes rolled as she tilted her head back experiencing a sense of pleasure she had never known.

“Mmm, no baby not bad at all…” Toni growled as she picked up the pace on Cheryl’s clit.

“Uhhh, uhhh, ohhh my…uhhhh” Cheryl was getting closer to cumming but she wanted something else before she did. “Toni?” She whispered.

“Mmmm, yes? What can I do for my ginchiest gal?”

Cheryl paused for a moment, nervous to ask for what she wanted but she also felt like Toni was holding back for her benefit and she wanted her to know she could take it.

“Could you maybe, put your fingers inside me?”

“Say no more.”

Toni took her index and middle finger and gently inserted them into Cheryl's wet, creamy pussy. Finally, she knew just what Cheryl felt like from the inside out and Toni must say it was nothing short of heaven. Cheryl leaned forward grabbing Toni for support, riding her hand, grinding her hips just right so Toni’s fingers could reach her G-Spot.

“Fuck, baby you’re the bee’s knees. Mmmm.” Toni was so turned on by this side of Cheryl, the sexy side with no worries in the world but getting finger fucked at the moment.

“Uhh…uhhh…yeah…yeah.”

Cheryl could feel her body tightening in a way she didn’t understand but also didn’t want to fight but she was running out of energy, so Toni swung her off her lap, got down on her knees, pulled Cheryl’s panties down, and buried her face in her slit.

“Oh Toni, uhhh, uhhh, yes, yes, ohhhh, ohhh, yes. Ahhh!”

“Mmmm,” Toni moaned along with the bombshell beauty while lapping up the remainder of her cum.

[chonidale]

Thank you for the fic recs. I adore their relationship and (most of) their storylines, and I apologize for implying otherwise. As I said, season 7 is everything.

Apparently I still have some frustrations bubbling under the surface. I just mainlined all 7 seasons in an embarrassingly short time, so I haven’t waded through my thoughts on it fully. I’m glad I watched from the start and I can see how things were set up even if there wasn’t always follow through. With the full story out, I possibly had a different perspective going into S5/S6 so I enjoyed the early angst after the jump and the Abigail shenanigans. While their breakup wasn’t handled perfectly, it was clear to me Toni was looking for stability post time jump. And I recognize the attempt the writers made to show one of these things is not like the other regarding Choni and the other relationship. All that to say, I see what the writers did or tried to do in some instances. There were some others that fell a little flat for me. I prefer motivation beyond servicing a throwaway plot when a character regresses or at least to have the moment addressed again, but I recognize they were balancing a lot of different story threads and they did address some character regressions in later seasons. Overall, it’s a very human trait to fall into old patterns that was not my issue.

Ultimately I’m just trying to get a sense of the characters, so certainly some fault is mine with not grasping narrative pieces. I’m working on coming to terms with the missed potential, which is where the fic writing comes in I suppose.

I honestly didn’t mean for my frustrations to bleed through, or for you to rehash aspects that you’ve probably discussed to death over the course of the show’s run. I could have praised the performances without denigrating other aspects and I am sorry for that. The truth is I watched every episode because I found Cheryl and Toni’s stories compelling in every timeline.

no, i get it. trust, you won't find a single choni fan that hasn't expressed their frustrations for every aspect of their story or all the missed opportunities and wasted potential. this blog is full of mine. but with the story over, it all turned out happily and we got the best end of all the ships (which nobody would have ever expected), and since you didn't have to live through the gutter years live, you can't quite understand what the final season and its contents and just that picture perfect ending means for us. i just think you have to adjust expectations and standards to the show and judge it according to that and compare it to the other stories on the show instead of expecting the same thing you expect from other shows. and yeah, there were the usual tv double standards even all the way to the end, but at the end of the day, the riverdale writers are who they are and they have their strengths and weaknesses and habits and we all knew what all those were by the end, and you just kinda have to take them or leave them. it's obviously different for someone that just binged the whole show at once, but for me, i'm just over focusing on the negative and complaining about what could have been because i've done it to death and it's not changing anything and they got a happy ending and i thought their story was beautiful. and despite all the ugliness of the time jump, it added a huge layer of depth to their story so i wouldn't change it, really. i'll forever be bummed about the things we didn't get or the potential they squandered but they also got so much more than i ever thought they'd get so i choose to focus on that, i guess.

[xtinyslip]

lcvenderhcze​:

“do you? do you know better, dearest?” edgar snapped back, shaking his head a little bit, because.. clearly, she did not understand it. clearly, she didn’t understand any of this and right now, that was the most frustrating thing of all. how was she out here pretending to be the victim when she most certainly was not? she was the one who had proven to be unreliable. he had been counting on her and she had failed him, time and time again, especially when it came to the coopers. how could he ever trust her again? oh, said trust was not there and it never would be again. right? “i trusted you. i would have done anything for you and guess what, i did! despite what everyone else told me, despite my better fucking judgement - i never once gave up on you and you… you just let me down for the last time. i can find much better. i’m edgar evernever. i don’t need some stupid little bitch to tell me what to do.” was he raging? yes, and.. right now, he was pretty damn sure that he would continue to be for good. “yes. i think so. you might think that you’re the only one in the world for me, but you’re not. i could and perhaps.. have already found someone better. you’re not special.” never had been and yes, he had been foolish to let himself remember that. “will you? i think you underestimate who i am. i can make you leave. right now.” @xtinyslip

“I KNOW YOU. who cares about the rest?" evelyn didn't and quite frankly she hadn't cared about anyone else other than her husband and the farm for a long time. she may have held certain attachments in riverdale but she was happy to shrug them off if needs be. in fact, she had done and rather easily. she knew what was important and where her loyalties led. “i made my concerns about the coopers being apart of what we are very clear. those bitches were always more trouble than they were ever worth to you. to us. to the farm. i know what you did for me. i will never forget what you did for me which is why i’m here. how many people underestimated me? us? how many people? they all did because they are not us and they’ll never understand whether you want that to be true or not. it is! you don’t think i’ll be able to make this up to you? you’re wrong.” oh, he was getting under her skin and she forgot how easily he was able to do it. everyone else she was able to keep her cool, hold her rage but with him it was like he let off a firework in her rage and it was showing now. “some stupid little bitch? THIS LITTLE BITCH HAS BEEN WITH YOU SINCE THE BEGINNING!” now he’d done it. “you and i both know that we are meant to be together. hate me, love me -- we do it together.” they always had done. she didn’t know anything else now and she didn’t want to. she wouldn’t. he was waiting for her to bow down and give up? well, clearly his memory was distorted because she didn’t do that shit. not for anyone. evelyn moved so close to him she could feel his breath against her skin, torn between wanting to smack him and kiss him. “please go on? i’m waiting.”

@lcvenderhcze

[mask131]

Am I the only one who can’t really stand the Alex Meyers review videos anymore?

I mean when he was still doing Riverdale and stuff , he was still the cool kid on the playground, you know but... I don’t know if it was because his style was perfect for reviewing insane stuff like Riverdale and those crazy Disney shows, or if he just shaped his whole reviewing style to fit them to the point he forgot to reshape it for other content. 

Because ever since he stopped the Riverdale videos and started looking at many other kinds of movies and television series... it doesn’t work with me anymore. He keeps a very superficial look at things filled with rushing points and omitting elements ; he keeps reusing the same jokes over and over again with little variations ; and he does a thing that always make me grind my teeth when it comes to reviewers - when he reviews a movie or a show based on a book or a comic book or any other previous material, he completely ignores the fact that it is an adaptation and judges EVERYTHING as if it was the writers of the movie that came up with it, and as if there was no prior material before the existence of said show/movie... Which ties in a general problem of lack of research which always irritate me with those who try to be “reviewers” but don’t bother doing the most basic Google search about the piece of media they try to review (a lack of knowledge which sometimes show up in the reviews themselves, as some of the reviewers concerns, questions or criticisms fall flat with the most basic one-minute search).

But I am going off-road here. My point is... yeah I think the Alex Meyers reviews became more irritating and annoying now? I don’t know if it was because he switched the material on which he was doing these reviews (that work much better for nonsensical, superficial, convoluted crazy stuff like Riverdale) ; or if  just watched enough years of his videos to realize he just repeats the same style, same jokes, same points over and over again to the point what seems cool becomes boring (Hell even the Red Flag parade, while HILARIOUS and that I used to be obsessed with, seems sometimes just meh...)

I don’t know - but I will certainly take a big break from his videos, something I already intended to do for quite some months now.

[infinite-hearteyes]

#SaveWarriorNun

(contains spoilers for Warrior Nun, Killing Eve, The Haunting of Bly Manor, The 100)

Well, here we are again. 

If I’m being honest, this kind of not quite unexpected disappointment is becoming really fucking tiring. 

Less than 24 hours ago, I read the news on Twitter that Warrior Nun had been cancelled by Netflix. I've already cried, a bunch of times. I've felt hopeless. And I'm angry. Fuck, I'm mad...

Barely a month after its second season was unceremoniously dropped onto the streaming service without so much as an ounce of promo by Netflix, any hopes for a third season have been stomped into the ground. It’s hard to believe we had to sit through a 2,5 year wait between season 1 and 2 only for this to happen… 

2022 certainly seems to be challenging 2016 for the title of ‘worst year for wlw television’. For me, the year started off with the ending of Killing Eve. Being a show that had unapologetically showcased a queer lead from its very beginning, I must admit I had quite high hopes for how they were going to wrap up this story. Admittedly, the quality of the writing had certainly slipped since its incredible first season, but still. There were so many ways in which they could have brought the storylines of Villanelle and Eve to a close, that I really thought they would’ve had it in the bag. It didn’t even have to be a ‘happy’ ending in order to provide a passionate (and largely queer) fanbase the closure they craved. 

A great example of queer tragedy being done right, to me at least, is The Haunting of Bly Manor. It portrayed the death of Dani in a way that was incredibly truthful to the overall storyline, but also to her character arc. It wasn’t there just for shock; it wasn’t a simple plot device to push another character’s storyline through. It was tragic, and it was beautiful. Moreover, I would point out that Bly never showed Dani’s actual death on screen, which to me, is another huge difference. It showed a sense of respect, not only for her as a character, but for us as the audience too. Whether that was intentional on the writers’ part or not, I definitely appreciated it. Did I still cry my eyes out for an hour after watching the finale? Yes, obviously. But it felt right. 

The writers of Killing Eve season 4, however, clearly did not have this kind of respect for their audience or characters. As someone who was part of the fight against the Bury Your Gays trope back in 2016, it felt like they watched episode 3.07 of The 100 and said, “you know what, we should do that too”. The utter carelessness with which they showed Villanelle and Eve what happiness could be like for them, only to rip it away from them (and us) mere minutes later, was disgusting. And on top of that, unbelievably unoriginal too. Lexa and Clarke, anyone? 

So that was the start of 2022 for me. Villanelle’s death left me feeling like nothing had changed over the past 6 years since Lexa, as though we were back at square one. Of course, that’s not quite the case, but the hopelessness that comes with seeing this occur over and over again is certainly quite exhausting. 

Then came along one of the most campy tv shows I have ever watched: First Kill. Did I absolutely love it? No, not really. But was it a fun watch when I wanted to shut off my brain for a second? Definitely. Besides: campy, cringey, young adult series are found all over the place, and it was great to get to have that for the lesbians too! Unfortunately, it received nearly no promotion from Netflix (hmm, anyone seeing a pattern here?) up until just before it aired. After that, people went crazy over it. Was it the best show ever? Nope, but not everything needs to be! Not that I’ve ever watched it, but how many seasons is Riverdale at again? It was silly, and weird, and over-the-top, and super super gay. Which, of course, sealed the deal for Netflix. Can’t have a successful show about a bunch of lesbians, now can ya? 

During the rest of this year, it’s felt like every other week, you’d hear about a new cancellation of shows centering sapphic, bipoc and trans* characters and storylines. I’ll admit, I haven’t watched many of them, because, well… Hard to commit to a show when you already know what to expect. 

And then, Warrior Nun came back. Oh boy, was I obsessed with this show when season 1 came out back in 2020. I was going through a rough patch (who wasn’t, this is 2020 we’re talking about) and this show was a great escape. Although I was at first doubtful because of its title, once I saw a preview, I was sold. I think I pretty much binged all 10 episodes. After that, I joined the (absolutely lovely) cast, crew, and the bunch of us viewers that had fallen in love with these characters, for the weekly WarriorNunWednesdays. Those nights, watching and live-tweeting along with everyone, certainly made it obvious just how much these people cared about the show. Interacting with the incredible actresses, writers, directors and crew was fantastic. One of the few positives about that time in my life, truly. 

Of course, there was a long wait for season 2. But I was okay with that, because holy shit, we got a season 2!! And in the end, wow, what a season 2 we got! More gorgeous locations, awesome stunts, perfectly paced character development… what’s not to love? I was super invested in the storyline and the characters, who each were fully fleshed out and lovable in their own ways. And Avatrice, oh, Avatrice… The type of quality slowburn that I generally seem to only be able to find in fanfiction. Such incredible chemistry between these women, and oh my god, the dancing scene in the very first episode?! Mindblowing. 

Was I pissed at the lack of promo from Netflix? The fact that it was left completely up to the fans and the cast to take up that work? … I think you can imagine my answer to that by now. But we did great! Let that be very clear, and allow yourself to be proud of that: we supported this show beautifully. And did y’all see those ‘hours watched’ for each week?! All the awesome reviews, and the audience score?! We. did. great. 

Unfortunately, and I think it’s pretty clear by now, Netflix probably never had any intention to renew Warrior Nun for a third season. They don’t care about these delicately told stories, these awesome queer women leads. They have no interest in gorgeous cinematography, or insane stunt sequences. And they certainly don’t give a damn about passionate fans. It sucks that the likes of Netflix hold so much power in this industry, when all that should be important is quality creative storytelling. Fuck you, capitalism… 

It’s sad, and sometimes infuriating, that it never feels like you can fully enjoy a show because of the constant threat of cancellation. But we fought well. And if there’s any chance left, we won’t stop fighting, I know that. This show, and these people, deserve nothing less. I’ll repeat that which we were all saying back in 2016: we deserve better. Don’t forget that. 

If you’ve gotten this far, thank you for sticking with my rant. Know that we can and will bring change to this tv landscape. There are so many of us, so many who care. Seek out community, take care of yourself and others. Let yourself feel all the feelings that come up. Cherish what you love, keep being creative. It will get better. Yeah, cliché, I know, but it will. 

To quote Emily Andras: “Everyone’s happy ending is unique. Don’t settle until you get yours.” 

In this life or the next…

[jabithajates]

Please write the essay because I'm quite upset with tonight's episode and if they blow up Jabitha to bring BH back after everything that's happened, I will riot. I need to be talked down because I hate what they did to Jug and Tabi with this.

Oh dude I know. The slightest idea that it could happen is rage inducing and this is basically me talking myself down.

But…we’ve been here before. His hallucinations of Betty in season 5 were a lot more incriminating. That was the time where it was really a possibility that they truly would’ve explored bringing them back: Tabitha wasn’t as established as a character then, she’d only been in six episodes, Jabitha only had one kiss under their belt, and Jughead couldn’t shake his idealism of Betty. Then he confronted it, worked on his sobriety, and committed to Tabitha.

Like in season 5, they also can’t be brought back if the other half of the ship is totally disinterested in him while deeply invested in Archie. Betty hasn’t reminisced about Jughead once in the last two seasons honestly and I can’t see that changing anytime soon. I wish Jughead would move on as seamlessly as she has, he has the right to and needs to.

Fortunately, I think he’ll let it rest soon. For one thing, he’s remembering concrete memories now…one of which is a kiss he and her had when she was lying to him about Archie. He isn’t solely centering her as this savior anymore, these are the memories that he associated with a breakup that he called traumatic. @jabitha-endgame pointed out, how he looks horrified remembering it and then immediately texts back Tabitha “Thank God. I really miss you.” when he finds out she’s coming home soon. I’ve seen Twitter try and pin the text escaping him from the memories as guilt for emotionally cheating, which is funny because Tabitha is the one he’s been centering as a savior now, and I think the show was a subtle way of the show acknowledging that. I also think he’s mainly embarrassed and scared at how godawful his abandonment issues have gotten. He has a pattern of spiraling anytime he’s out of her sight: escaping back to New York, trying to go back to his serpent youth and wrecking a bike, admitted randomly last episode that his worst fear is dying alone like his grandfather. Like calm the fuck dude she’s coming back. Riverdale has made it a theme this season about confronting and overcoming childhood issues. Betty is only a small part of the problem at this point, he has to confront the same abandonment issue he’s had since his first ever scene in season one in order for him to let himself be secure in his attachment with her and accept her love and his love for her. The fact that he was unable to throw the book in the fire last episode is foretelling. Everyone else was readily willing to let go of their past crutches except for him, because like in Vale, he’ll hold onto the past even if it’s harmful and detrimental. Like in Vale, Tabitha’s going to bring this to the forefront and destroy it because they’ll realize out their love is the only thing strong enough to.

I hope I make sense because I seriously feel like him right now.

The crawling infestation has been exterminated before, so they’re fated to do it again. Only thing simmering is the boiling lead up to the ILY, y’all.

[raymondebidochonlifechoices]

To summarise:

Archie has nightmares about his time at the trenches in Verdun, when he wasn’t able to save one of his soldiers. World War I has been hard on Archie.

World War I has been hard on Eric as well, who’s taken to sleep-walking(?) with his loaded rifle. No wonder Jughead lives at the garage.

Uncle Frank has the brilliant idea to get Archie and Eric a dog as a therapy pet. Except this is Riverdale, so the dog, too, has trauma.

It’s not only young women who have gone missing in Riverdale but also canines: there is an illegal dog fighting ring that no one knows where it is. The Three Army Buddies find it nevertheless and take it down. I’m breathless with how many times Archie has saved this town.

Archie will now take care of a hundred and one dogs. Not Dalmatians though, which is a pity, because that would have worked so well with his firefighter plot line. Toffee is rolling on the floor laughing.

Archie in 5x14:

In a completely unexpected turn of events, season 5 being a new show and everything, Veronica decides to go after her father’s business. She recruits Reggie, who just wants to work for a Lodge really. Maybe now Smithers will be allowed to retire?

“SoDale is a scam?!” asks outraged one of the investors, who hasn’t bothered to check on his investment before Ronnie called him.

You catch more flies with honey than vinegar, unless you’re the She-Wolf of Wall Street, in which case you apply reverse psychology i.e. condescension. It’s not surprising that it works. I mean, these were Hiram’s investors to begin with.

Fabergé only made about 69 eggs, but his cousin Glamergé must have made much more, because Veronica is giving them away like candy to her clients. I just wish one of the writers had googled a Fabergé egg’s price. Oh, well.

Riverdale High is still doing distance learning. Or maybe not. I mean, Kevin was there but I didn’t see any students in attendance.

Kevin is named teacher of the year, probably because he’s the only person that has ever taught drama, debate, biology, gym and sex-ed in the span of a single year. I bet this was Mrs Bell’s doing (both the scheduling and the accolade).

Ever since Archie & co started teaching, he’s been left with too much free time to make (new) bad decisions, including asking ex-gaslighting girlfriend Cheryl for relationship advice.

When he goes over at Fangs’ to ask for clemency, he catches his ex having wine and cheese with his other ex, i.e. his ex’s ex’s ex. As Cheryl exclaimed: That is diabolical.

The maths is too hard for him so he joins a new cult.

Riverdale is the only show where becoming the art director for a cult led by a convicted serial killer is considered a step-up from being a teacher.

Run, Moose, Run.

Some people collect butterflies. Betty collects serial killers. Much like with the butterflies, she insists on catching them on her own.

She has now quit the FBI but since no one has asked her to hand over her bureau-issued gear, she still has her badge, her gun and a collection of FBI jackets to give her accomplices friends. This is consistent with the FBI forgetting to pack up their Riverdale field office for 7 years.

Glen makes an appearance to request Betty’s badge -but not her gun or jacket(s). He’s probably still pissed that Betty stabbed him and got away with it but he was the one researching her serial killer genes, so he’s got no excuse for not having been prepared.

After their successful team-up in 5x11, where they lost both Jughead and his manuscript, Betty and Tabitha collaborate again to track down The Lonely Highway Killer (LHK) by first luring him to Pop’s with sexy dancing.

It is a wonder that LHK hasn’t been caught yet as he travels with blood all over his truck. It is also a wonder that he managed to kill anybody, because apparently his pick-up line is “I like to watch people die, will you excuse me just a sec to go grab my chainsaw?” or something to that effect.

Betty turns her back to a serial killer for one second (this is premium FBI training stuff) and he (momentarily) disappears. No manners at all. 

LHK and Betty have a show-down, him with his chainsaw, Betty with her trusty spanner. Unlike Glen, LHK hasn’t done research on the Cooper/Smith serial killer genes and, thus, doesn’t stand a chance.

Tabitha wants to hand him over to the FBI. Tabitha is new to the show.

Taking into consideration Glen’s general incompetence, I’m with Betty on this one.

Toffee is on a self-exploration journey at Llasa visiting the Jokhang temple. She’s not coming back until Archie has his dogs under control.

One down, six more opportunities for Cheryl to burst into song.